When things are bad between you and your partner it may feel like you need to pray for divine intervention--a miracle-- to make things good again. Don’t fret! And don’t give up! What you really need is a relationship strategy. A strategy that will help you see your partner and your issues with fresh eyes. A strategy so effective it will feel like a miracle.
I hear too many disappointed couples sharing stories of how they “failed” therapy. Often, they share that they stopped counseling because there was no improvement in their situations.
This article is a must on your essential list of relationship resources. Why? Because when we mess up we whine. We pout. We dole out righteous indignation. Or we verbally punch back much too hard.
You’ve heard it before: “Once a cheater - always a cheater.” Maybe you’ve said it yourself a time or two. Yet now, as you struggle to cope with the aftermath of infidelity in your own relationship, you may be wondering if the saying applies to the person you love.
“I said I was sorry!” Tense and exhausted by the fallout of your unfaithfulness, you repeat your apologies. You’re likely anxious and upset, eager to recover and move on. Yet, the wounds of your partner remain open, the betrayal and all its consequences, remain unaddressed, and forgiveness remains out of reach. Why can’t you get past this? Why doesn’t “I’m sorry” work, no matter how much you say you are?
You know you love your partner. Whether you are at home cuddling on the couch or out for drinks with a couple of old friends, your love doesn’t change. Yet, your partner seems to feel cheated out of time with you when you’re not together. Have they expressed that he or she doesn’t feel like you are showing them enough care and appreciation?
Any relationship that lasts more than a decade deserves special recognition. Yet, with that recognition comes the realization that just because your relationship is firmly established doesn’t mean there aren’t issues, challenges, and problems you want to address. However, many long-term couples like you wonder:
When I think about guilt after betrayal, I realize that it is usually associated with the betraying partner. A simple search online reveals tons of articles about feeling guilty after cheating. However, my work with couples in the healing stages following infidelity actually shows that guilt exists in both partners.
Putting your trust in a complete stranger is not simple and becomes even more challenging if you're trying to follow the guidance of a list you found online or names someone gave you to call and choose from.
Many couples believe that sexual drought is a phase that will eventually fade away or is simply the nature of a long-term relationship. I will challenge that perception and help you get things going in the right direction!