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A Couples Therapist’s Thoughts On How to Build New Relationship Habits

Idit Sharoni

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I'm a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist based in Miami, a relationship podcast host, and an educator. I help couples transform their patterns of communication and heal after infidelity. 

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Sometimes, couples can be unaware of the habits that make relationships work. Although living together, sleeping in the same bed, sharing a bank account, and raising children mean being in a relationship, it doesn’t necessarily guarantee happiness and fulfillment. Perhaps, if we are more mindful of our actions and habits, we can create the type of relationship that will bring us joy. We can make habits out of things we do for our partners, such as providing support and security.

This way, we can make sure that our relationships work the way we want them to work. So if we are asked “Do you feel happy? Fulfilled? Do you feel like someone has your back? Do you feel like you can count on and lean on someone?”, the answer can be a resounding “Yes”.  A couples therapist in Miami, FL can help couples become more mindful of how they act with each other. In this blog, we’ll explore how couples can create new habits.

Create a Culture of AppreciationShows a man doing the dishes and his partner thanking him. Represents how couples therapy and marriage counseling in fl supports a culture of appreciation in a relationship so that each partner feels appreciated.

One of the first new relationship habits is to create a culture of appreciation. According to the Gottman Institute, it’s essential to express appreciation out loud, on a daily basis. This means this cannot be a one-time thing, and it’s important to verbalize what you appreciate about your partner. This could be as simple as saying “Thank you for packing lunch for me this morning” or “I appreciate how you handled that situation with our son today”.

Creating a culture of appreciation is acknowledging what you appreciate on a daily basis. For example, you could tell your partner “I appreciate that you’re always here for me” or “I appreciate you for always understanding my needs”. Also, are you saying these things out loud or inside your head? Because expressing your appreciation out loud to your partner is often more meaningful.

Culture of Appreciation vs Appreciation

Culture of appreciation and appreciation are two different things. Appreciation is a one-time act and a culture of appreciation is a habit that is developed over time. For example, if you say “I appreciate how you took out the trash today” or “I appreciate you for helping me with dinner”, that is appreciation. If you are saying these things multiple times over a period of time, it’s creating a culture of appreciation.

When you and your partner start verbalizing this appreciation toward one another, you will build a culture of appreciation. Your partner will continue to do this to you as well because you are doing it for them.

Carve Out Time To Have FunShows a couple enjoying their day trip. Represents how couples therapy and marriage counseling in fl recommends you and your partner have fun in your relationship.

Another new habit that couples can introduce into their relationship is to carve out time to have fun. Just like the culture of appreciation, this is something that should be done on a regular basis. This is not just a date night with your partner, but something that you haven’t done before or in your comfort zone. This is something pure fun where you can be childish and playful. This could look like an adventurous day trip to a place neither of you has been before, a game night with friends, or a new experience like rock climbing.

Whatever it is, it should be something that brings you joy and helps you explore the world together. These experiences that allow you both to feel free and just live can take place at home, outside, or wherever you want and whenever you want. As long as it’s something new, it will bring a sense of wonder and excitement to your relationship.

Enrich Your Love Map of Each Other

The Gottman Institute, which studies relationships and love, claims that a great relationship is based on knowing your partner’s psychological world. This means having knowledge of your partner’s thoughts, values, and beliefs. How much do you know about your partner? How much do they know about you? A great habit that can grow and enrich your love map is to ask open-ended questions.

These questions can be as simple as “What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?” or “What’s a dream you have that you haven’t been able to fulfill yet?”. By asking these questions, you can learn more about your partner and increase your love map. Marriage counseling can help you learn more about your partner by guiding you in the right direction. That way, you can both grow to know each other better and build a strong foundation.

There’s also an app, called Card Decks, which has questions crafted to get you and your partner talking. Which can be a great idea for couples to get deeper into their conversations.

Build Rituals Of ConnectionShows a couple meeting up for coffee. Represents how marriage counseling in miami, fl will support you and your partner creating rituals in your relationship to create a stronger bond.

Rituals of connection are simple habits that create a deeper bond between couples. This could be anything from saying good morning to your partner whenever you wake up or hugging them before you go to sleep. You can even start a ritual of simply kissing hello or goodbye. Or, they can be grandiose and something you do together, like celebrating your anniversary every year at the same place you met.

These rituals are the idea that you do the same thing at the same time every day or every year. Happy couples tend to have a lot of rituals of connection. They don’t only celebrate birthdays and check in with their partner when they leave work. Happy couples send texts throughout the day. They have a show they watch together every night or a coffee date at the same cafe once a week.

Creating these rituals of connection can bring a sense of comfort and stability to your relationship. Marriage counseling can be an opportunity to learn about the different rituals that can help your relationship flourish. Especially, if your relationship has been struggling or disconnected, incorporating rituals of connection can help you both build intimacy and trust.

Building a strong foundation for a relationship isn’t easy and takes a lot of dedication. But with the right guidance, you can learn how to create habits and rituals that will keep your connection strong. As long as you communicate clearly with your partner, these rituals can become a source of strength and support for both of you.

Begin Working with a  Couples Therapist in Miami, FL

Working with a couples therapist in Miami, FL can be an opportunity to learn new skills, create meaningful rituals of connection, and enrich your relationship. You and your partner deserve to invest in your relationship and build a strong foundation for the future. One that is filled with love, understanding, and connection. If you’re ready to start your journey:

  • Schedule a consultation or call us at 305-507-9955
  • Speak to a relationship expert to receive information about all of our marriage counseling sessions.
  • Schedule your first session with one of our expert counselors and start building a strong foundation based on love, understanding, and connection.

Other Services Provided By Idit Sharoni – Relationship Experts

You and your partner only want the best for your relationship. That’s why you ended up on our website. You both want to enrich your relationship and build a strong foundation for the future. A future where your connection is strong and your passion is alive. Our therapists at Idit Sharoni – Relationship Experts provide a wide range of services to support you and your partner work on achieving your relationship goals. Our Miami, FL-based counseling office offers many different services online besides Marriage Counseling, including Affair Counseling, Communication Counseling, and Infidelity Recovery Programs. We also offer online therapy sessions for other types of relationship issues.

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Shows a happy couple spending time together. Represents how marriage counseling in miami, fl will help you start new relationship habits in your relationship.

I'm Idit Sharoni, your podcast host.

I'm an expert on relationships and infidelity recovery. I'm a licensed marriage & family therapist, a podcast host, and the founder of Relationship Experts  - a Couples Therapy & Coaching private practice.

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