Marriage on the Rocks? Strategies for Overcoming Relationship Ruts

Idit Sharoni

posted by:


why do you have to be so defensive?


how to get an expert to help your relationship


how to express remorse after infidelity
Now Trending




I'm a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist based in Miami, a relationship podcast host, and an educator. I help couples transform their patterns of communication and heal after infidelity. 


affair Recovery

learn more

I'm Idit Sharoni

The program

Our highly effective coaching program for couples in the aftermath of infidelity looking to heal and regain trust.

Are you and your partner stuck? As a couple, has your marriage become so boring and routine that you find it difficult to connect on much anymore? 

That dissatisfied feeling of monotony or stifling disconnect and loneliness in a relationship is often called a “rut.” Much like the deep, worn trenches in a well-traveled road, a relationship rut offers little excitement or opportunity to move freely in new directions.

This, of course, is not ideal in a long-term connection.

If your relationship is mired in stagnated communication, unmet needs, and unacknowledged expectations, now is the time to rescue your relationship with couples therapy. Get unstuck and start restoring the joy of your connection

5 Practical Steps to Reignite Passion and Rekindle Your Connection 

1. Prioritize Quality Time

The fact is that no fire was ever started without a bit of space and a breath of fresh air to help a spark flare up and grow. Be willing to rekindle the flame between you by clearing out regular time and space in your schedule. Intentionally scheduling quality time for each other communicates 1) acknowledgment of the rut you’ve fallen into and 2) a conscious commitment to change.

So, what does quality time look like? Start with date nights and pledge more “face time” without your cell phones. Make plans to be together, engaging in activities that allow for conversation and deep connection. To effectively pull yourselves out of your rut, you’ll need more than a meal and a quick movie. Give yourselves time to bond meaningfully. 

Happy couple smiling and dancing. Uncover new ways to connect with your partner and help with your relationship ruts with the help of a couples therapist in couples therapy in Miami, FL.

2. Break Out of the Everyday

There’s nothing like a bit of novelty and spontaneity to recharge the batteries of a stuck relationship. It’s vital to refresh your view of each other by finding ways to see each other with new eyes. Fun, laughter, and affection come easy when you sign up for a bit of local adventure or a whirlwind getaway.  

Create moments that you’ve never had before. Feeling inspired and invigorated as a team stokes romance and strengthens your bond. It is both pleasurable and intriguing to know that your relationship offers each of you the freedom to break out of the norm, your rut, and the expectations you may have placed on yourselves as individuals.

3. Listen Like You Mean It

Ridding yourselves of a relationship rut means paying attention to the communication obstacles that run your connection off the road. Generally, this starts with making sure your partner feels heard and understood. Active listening makes all the difference, as your effort to ensure they have the freedom to share clearly and correctly is often a relationship game changer.

Why? Because active listening makes your partner feel heard and supported. They don’t have to guess or wonder whether you’re listening. They believe you want to understand them. Your expression, body, and responses show you are present and tuned into them. Your willingness to make eye contact, repeat what they’ve shared, and resist interruption communicate love and respect.  

All told, making space for safe expression and openness fosters closeness. After all, who feels stuck when their partner genuinely values their feelings and perspectives enough to lean in and hear them out without distraction, judgment, or an agenda?  

Couple sitting on the floor hugging and laughing at something on a cell phone. Reconnect with your partner after disconnection with the help of couples therapy in Miami, FL. Learn tips from a couples therapist on overcoming your issues.

4. Turn Toward Each Other

This relationship tool, developed and popularized by world-renowned couples therapist and researcher Dr. John Gottman, is another rut-busting communication technique worth trying. Essentially, establishing a habit of turning toward your partner is a crucial part of restoring trust and mutual support between you. 

The primary goal is to foster an environment of positivity and connection through expressions of sincere appreciation and gratitude. Every show of enthusiasm and affection counts, great or small. In fact, simple, daily mentions of your partner’s strengths, endearing traits, and value to you have a way of storing up goodwill in your relationship. Turning toward each other is a reliable tool to help you feel seen and loved while soothing and smoothing out the rocky patches that can crop up between you. 

5. Seek Couples Therapy for Guidance, Growth & Healing

Were you given lessons in relationship recovery and preservation before you fell in love? Most of us weren’t. Couples struggle and the struggle is real. Things get rough, communication stagnates, and ruts develop. Sometimes you know why, and sometimes you need help to pinpoint the trouble spots. Seeking out the guidance of a compassionate couples therapist can give you a safe, supportive opportunity to explore what’s happening between you in couples therapy

There is no shame in exploring unresolved hurts and areas of disappointment with a therapist. It’s perfectly okay to reach out for help in repairing communication rifts. Don’t wait to get out of your rut. Get out together, feeling good about your future, and confident that you’ll have the tools to maintain your connection and keep the passion alive.

Woman laying her head in a man's lap and smiling while talking. Overcome the issues you face in your relationship with the help of couples therapy in Miami, FL.


Is your marriage on the rocks? Don’t let distance and discord define your relationship. Take the first step towards restoring your connection and rediscovering love by embarking on a transformative journey with Relationship Experts, Florida’s leading couples therapy practice. Your journey to a happier, healthier partnership begins now. Follow these three simple steps to get started:

  1. Schedule a free consultation or call our office at 305-507-9955 to ask about couples therapy
  2. Meet with a skilled couples therapist for your first session
  3. Begin rekindling passion in your partnership and restore your connection!


At Relationship Experts, our team provides a wide range of services to help you and your partner reconnect and rediscover your relationship. Our Miami, FL-based counseling office offers many different services online throughout Florida besides Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling, including Affair Counseling, Infidelity Recovery Program, and Communication Counseling. We also offer online therapy sessions for couples looking to heal their relationship conveniently. Check out our blog for more articles like this!


Photo of a couple sitting in a grassy field leaning against each other. Is your relationship in a rut? Discover how couples therapy in Miami, FL can help you overcome your issues with the help of a couples therapist.

I'm Idit Sharoni, your podcast host.

I'm an expert on relationships and infidelity recovery. I'm a licensed marriage & family therapist, a podcast host, and the founder of Relationship Experts  - a Couples Therapy & Coaching private practice.

Thanks for reading!

I hope you enjoyed the post!

The Secret to Healing After Infidelity




We can help you save your relationship after infidelity!
Sign up to get immediate access to our masterclass.

Infidelity Recovery

you'll know what you're doing that's getting you stuck in conflict avoidance.

you'll get actionable suggestions to change that pattern and reconnect.

you will be able to start healing from infidelity!

Feel like you've been disconnected from your partner? Have you been avoiding confrontation to keep the peace? This free quiz will help you detect whether you've been engaged in relational conflict avoidance and what you can do instead to start healing from infidelity.

Do you engage in conflict Avoidance?

- Ruth & Rob

"Thank you! Your quiz and the results helped us realize why we were so disconnected and what to do about it."

Relational conflict avoidance


free quiz