# 065: How to Get an Expert to Help your Relationship Without Having to See One

Idit Sharoni

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I'm a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist based in Miami, a relationship podcast host, and an educator. I help couples transform their patterns of communication and heal after infidelity. 


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Are you facing an acute issue in your relationship?

Not the occasional arguing. Not the odd bickering. I’m talking about the serious stuff.

Perhaps you’re even considering divorce. Maybe you found out your partner had an affair. Or, possibly, you’ve tired of tolerating a sex-starved marriage. All of these circumstances are very painful, sensitive issues that couples sometimes have to manage.

Thus, it’s no wonder that you want an expert help. When you have a deep wound, you want the best surgeon to make things right and whole again. It’s no different for your relationship. You want the best couples therapy expert, with the most experience, to do your relationship surgery.

Fortunately, you can have just that!

Please read on to discover the following

  • new cutting edge methods developed, employed, and trusted by the best experts in couples therapy. They can help couples improve their connection and communication without ever seeing them in the therapy room.
  • how basically anyone from anywhere can be helped by the best relationship experts out there.
  • and how such high-level support is routinely offered at a fraction of the cost it would be to actually see such an expert.

To be sure, this opportunity is a turning point for the modern couple. How complicated it can be to get the help you need!

Problems with the Way We Search for Expertise

In the past, it wasn’t easy to find and meet with high-quality professional therapists. Not unless you knew one of their clients or obtained a good referral. Even still, if you were able to get in for an appointment, the waiting lists for these experts were, and remain, very long.

In the not so distant past, when all relationship hell broke loose or you reached the end of your relationship rope, you’d think, “we need to seek couples therapy.”From there, if you managed to convince your partner to participate,” you’d simply started looking for the right therapist.

And then? Well, you kept looking. And Googling. And scrolling. For hours.

All the while, you’d be hoping to find the best fit. You’d hope against hope to find the one therapist that appeared to be the most capable of helping you cope. Someone who might soothe and offer solutions to your most distressing relationship issues. You’d look and look for an established authority with unquestionable expertise.

And after a while, your search might indeed uncover a few good candidates. But inevitably, you top choice is not located in your area. Or they have huge waiting list. Or they are completely unaffordable.

So, you resign yourself to your second third and fourth choices. Continuing on, you call or email, hoping to get help soon.

Beyond Books and Blog Posts

Of course, while you search the net and phone book for an expert, it’s not as though you don’t have access to quality reading material. Couples today do have more written options to help heal their relationship than ever before. However, you, no doubt, realize that your relationship can only improve so much via books or blog posts, however abundant they may be.

Fortunately, a new breed of treatment has arrived in the therapy world.

A New, Transformed World of Expertise and Support

What’s so different today, you ask?

Thankfully, many amazing and generous relationship experts are now willing to share their therapeutic superpowers far beyond their therapy rooms.

Sometimes you need frequent, specific guidance, and expanded teaching on what matters to you. Again, for many couples, the help, hope, and hard work needed to secure their relationship only happens with a real expert therapist.

So, how can you and your partner reach them, learn from them, and receive their services outside the therapy room?

Comfortably and conveniently, couples, like you, now have the chance to utilize digital programs or courses and even online coaching support from their preferred relationship experts.

How to Know if a Digital Program is for You

You may find that, like many others, you find yourself in any of the following situations:

  • You think you need couples therapy, but your partner is not on board and won’t go with you
  • You tried couples therapy in the past, but it wasn’t helpful or your therapist didn’t really specialize in couples work, so you dropped out.
  • You believe you can solve your issues, as severe as they may be, if you have the right tools.
  • You can’t afford therapy with a real expert. You don’t have time for it, or the expert you want is unavailable to you.
  • You are currently in couples therapy. It’s going well, but you feel you need extra help
  • Most serious, you both feel so much shame regarding your relationship problems that sharing, even with a therapist, is not an option.

If of these situations reflect your relationship, not to worry, you are in good company. Many couples and individuals in relationships are unable to quickly and effectively reach the help they so desperately need.

This is where the digital world comes in.

After all, we’re developing such amazing platforms all over the world to connect people. Why not use that kind of technology to help you reconnect with the person who matters most?

In just the past few years, a few experts began creating online courses for specific relationship issues. The idea is that couples can log in, get access to the experts themselves, and learn how to heal or fix their relationship.

Experts Online: Examples of Available Counseling, Courses, Workshops, and More

Rekindling Desire (Esther Perel)

Esther Perel is my favorite couples therapist. She’s written several books, she has 2 ted talks with millions of views, and works out of New York City. In the past few years, Esther noted that she is no longer available for ongoing cases which makes it almost impossible to see her as a long-term therapist. So, as much as you may love her work, you would not be able to access her expertise for your own relationship without the online courses and workshops she created for couples.

The Art and Science of Love (The Gottman Institute)

The well-known and respected Gottman Institute has been researching couples and relationships for the past 4 decades. They too, offer a variety of workshops live or in digital format couples can purchase.

It’s Okay to Stay™ (Idit Sharoni)

My own online program is a roadmap to healing after infidelity. It is a comprehensive implementation program that includes 4 modules and 15 lessons. In them, I guide you step-by-step from your crisis all the way to regaining a loving and trusting relationship with your partner.

As I became specialized in affair recovery, I received emails from people all over the US and other countries asking if I could see them. I soon realized that I’ll never have the capacity to see everyone who needs me.

When I saw therapists offering their help via digital programs, I dismissed it at first. Yet, the more emails and calls from couples I had to refuse due to scheduling, location constraints, or other issues, the more I felt bad. How could I not offer the help I know could save their relationships after betrayal?

So, like Esther Perel and the Gottman Institute, I took it upon myself to come up with a digital course. Now, the next step is to educate couples about that amazing option.

Still Have Some Doubts About Digital Courses and Workshops?

I realize it takes a bit of a mind-shift. When you struggle in your relationship, taking an online course may not be the first thing that comes to mind. It’s new, it’s innovative, it’s not what we’re used to. In fact, sometimes it’s not always the right solution. You might have some of the following concerns:

  • Well, it’s not like therapy so how can it help us? Just because it isn’t therapy, doesn’t mean it can’t help you. Therapy with a really good specialized couples therapist, is the ultimate solution. But a quality online program makes an excellent supplement for your therapy as well.
  • How do I know this specific content is going to help me? Look for as much information as possible.
    • Find the course webpage or sales page and read it thoroughly. It should indicate the course content and what you’re getting. Does it sound like what you need?
  • Contact the course creator and ask questions to make sure you can benefit from the course. (Personally, we are always happy to answer questions and even have a chatbox on our sales page for people to use. We want you to feel completely confident that that’s the right thing for your relationship. If it isn’t then you are saved from purchasing a course you cannot use.)

Ultimately, if you do decide that you want to work with an an unavailable expert in the couples therapy field, here are five basic ways to proceed:

5 Steps to Get an Expert to Help your Relationship Without Having to See One

  1. Get on their site. Do they offer anything more than therapy? Free resources like a blog or a podcast are a good sign. Keep digging, they might actually offer a digital program ike and online course or workshop.
  2. If your preferred expert offers digital programs, see if they provide detailed information about it. Look in program’s sales page, a free webinar offering, or in a listed masterclass. Sign up for those to experience your expert’s teaching style and ability to connect with you through their philosophy. This will help you develop an informed opinion about their message and methods.
  3. Are you still unsure? Get in touch with the course creator. Either through email, phone consultation, or any other method offered. Share how you’re struggling with and ask whether they think their course is right for you. As a therapist, I love receiving those emails because I can either call with the person, or answer them directly and specifically. And yes, I’ve had cases where I explained that my course is probably not the best option for them.
  4. Are refunds available? If your current mindset still prevents you from seeking this relatively new path to help, see if the course has a money back guarantee. If so, you’ve nothing to lose. Regardless, carefully examine the fine print. What does the money back guarantee mean? What restrictions apply? I offer a 14-day money back guarantee but you’ll have to show me you did the work and are still not happy. In that case, you’ll get your investment back.
  5. See if your course creator offers support in any other form. Are you able to connect and obtain answers if you have trouble navigating the course or need to consult? You want to make sure you get an option to contact your course creator if necessary. I offer a members only community where members can share, ask, support and receive support from others experiencing similar relationship difficulties. We also offer technical support and course navigating assistance.

Finally, I do hope this information has been helpful to you. Thank you so much for reading and considering the information in this post. If you need more help or support, please visit my couples counseling page, contact me for a consultation, or consider my course, It’s Okay to Stay™.

Would you like to learn how to heal and rebuild trust after infidelity without feeling stuck trying to forgive, forget, and move on, the constant intrusive thoughts or the crushing question “Will we ever move past this?

Click here to save your seat in my free masterclass, The Secret to Healing After Infidelity

Relationship expert Affair recovery Idit Sharoni sitting and teaching couples in the aftermath of infidelity how to heal after cheating


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Idit Sharoni, LMFT on her laptop offering online courses for couples in the aftermath of infidelity

I'm Idit Sharoni, your podcast host.

I'm an expert on relationships and infidelity recovery. I'm a licensed marriage & family therapist, a podcast host, and the founder of Relationship Experts  - a Couples Therapy & Coaching private practice.

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