Episode #021: Things I Wish Couples With Communication Issues Knew

Idit Sharoni

#021: Things I Wish Couples With Communication Issues Knew (Part 1)


why do you have to be so defensive?


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I'm a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist based in Miami, a relationship podcast host, and an educator. I help couples transform their patterns of communication and heal after infidelity. 


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Do you feel as if you partner gets very defensive when you communicate something is wrong? Does it feel like telling your partner what bothers you only starts a fight and nothing really gets resolved? That can definitely feel like you’re having communication issues.

When it comes to having a healthy relationship, communication is key. I can’t tell you how often I hear couples complain about having communication issues. To me, it isn’t necessarily bad news because it tells me that people value their communication as key in their relationship. The problem is that we tend to think that talking about things is communication and we give less importance to how we say things. For example, it is very important to tell your partner when something is bothering you. However, where do you draw the line between saying it like it is and being careful with your words?

Challenging old sayings about communication

Many of us grew up with the saying “If you have nothing nice to say do not say anything at all”. When it comes to your partner you might rebel against this teaching, and find yourself being fiercely honest with him/her. You say it exactly how it is to your partner when you feel they are doing something wrong. After all, honesty is the best policy in relationships, right? Umm… there’s a twist here. After being with your partner for X amount of years, you might feel as if you are entitled to be brutally honest, but I suggest you re-consider.

In this episode, I challenge the need to be brutally honest with your partner and offer another way to reflect your feelings and thoughts.

On this new episode of Relationships Uncomplicated Podcast, I will be revealing a 4-part recipe to unpack criticism and get your message across to your partner. Wouldn’t it be great if you could communicate issues to your partner without having to have their defensive walls come up? So… this is exactly what you’ll be getting as a result of doing things according to this episode’s recipe.

Go get your earbuds and a piece of paper. You’ll want to write this stuff down.

Let’s get you communicating!

Links mentioned in this episode:

Episode 19: Love Your Partner How THEY Want To Be Loved



The Relationships Uncomplicated Podcast by Idit Sharoni

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