#006: How To Stop Drifting Apart

Have you felt like you and your partner are drifting apart? Does it seem like you’re simply out of sync with each other? Do you feel like neither of you is on the same page anymore? Maybe you’re not getting the feeling that you’re a team anymore.

I commonly hear from my clients they feel as if they are no longer a priority. I hear “We are drifting apart. We are no longer connected as we used to be”. They live together, pay the bills together and sometimes even spend enough of time together. But they still feel distant and not connected to their partner.

Eventually, as the distance continues to grow, you will notice and may even bring up the subject in a conversation that has the potential to turn into a fight. Naturally, you’ll try to solve the problem by bringing it up again. Chances are, if you have the right communication skills, you’ll figure it out and find your way back to being close and feeling heard. However, if this hasn’t happened or even made things worse, you’ll end up drifting further and further apart. Next, you may turn to outside help. Reaching out to friends and family is not necessarily a bad thing, but let me tell you why it may not be a great thing either.

Imagine that a relationship was like a house and the house represented you and your partner. Normally, houses have walls, windows, and doors. Some houses even have a fence to protect the people in it from the rest of the world. But what happens when a house has no doors or windows? Everyone can see inside the house. And when people can see inside they feel entitled to their opinion. They will try to change things in your house.  Even if their intentions are good, it allows outsiders access to your unity. This, in turn, has the potential to cause even more drifting apart.

In this podcast episode I teach you how to get closer with your partner and build protective boundaries to guard your relationship without isolating yourself from the world.

I will also discuss 2 strategies to help you avoid future drifting apart, or fix an already drifted apart situation. These two strategies are part of holistic approaches that can help you and your partner get back on the same page, become united, and have the communication that makes both of you feel heard.