As a couples therapist, I’m seeing something new in my office lately. Clients are coming in with relationship conflicts I never thought I’d see just a few years ago.

Partners are turning to ChatGPT for relationship advice. They’re spending hours talking with AI instead of their spouse. Sometimes they even follow AI advice that hurts their relationships instead of resolving issues in couples counseling.

If you’re reading this because AI has become a problem in your relationship, you’re not alone. AI comes between partners is a growing issue many couples face. These tools are getting better and more common every day.

Let’s talk about how to handle this new challenge while protecting your relationship.

Why do I feel more understood by AI than my partner?

Why AI Feels So Comforting

AI tools like ChatGPT are designed to be endlessly patient. They’re never judgmental. They’re always available to listen.

They don’t get defensive. They don’t bring up past arguments. AI tools never seem tired of your problems. This can feel refreshing. This is especially true if talking with your partner has been challenging.

The Illusion of Being Understood

Yet, this feeling of being “understood” by AI is somewhat of an illusion. AI doesn’t truly understand your emotions or your relationship. It’s programmed to respond in ways that feel validating. But AI tools like ChatGPT don’t have the whole picture. They lack the deep knowledge of your history, your partner’s perspective, and the complex emotions that make human relationships meaningful.

Why Turning to AI Can Create Avoidance

When we turn to AI for emotional support instead of working through problems with our partner, we may be avoiding the harder work. The more complex the work, the more rewarding it is. It involves deepening our human connection.

AI can offer general advice and validation. But it can’t help you and your partner grow together. It can’t help you navigate the specific dynamics that make your relationship unique.

I talk to ChatGPT more than my spouse, is that unhealthy? Can AI Come Between Partners

When AI Use Starts Replacing Human Connection

If you’re spending more time talking with AI than with your partner, this pattern deserves attention. AI can be a helpful tool for processing thoughts or getting a perspective. But it shouldn’t replace human connection. Real-life relationships should be your main source of emotional support and friendship.

Understanding What Drives the Behavior

Consider what’s driving this behavior. Are you avoiding difficult conversations with your partner? Do you feel judged or misunderstood when you try to talk with them? Are you using AI as a way to escape relationship problems rather than address them?

It’s worth looking at whether your AI conversations are helping you become a better partner. Or are they creating distance in your relationship? Does AI comes between partners?

Healthy vs. Unhealthy AI Use

Healthy AI use might involve processing your thoughts before a difficult conversation with your spouse. Unhealthy use might involve sharing intimate details about your relationship with AI while staying emotionally distant from your actual partner.

ChatGPT told me my partner is toxic, what should I do?

Why AI Often Gives Extreme Answers

AI tools can quickly jump to extreme conclusions based on limited information. Again, they simply don’t have the whole picture. When you describe a conflict or frustrating behavior to ChatGPT, it’s basing its advice on limited information. It doesn’t know your partner’s perspective. It doesn’t understand the complex history between you two.

Get Human Input Before Making Big Decisions

Before taking dramatic action based on AI advice, consider getting a human perspective. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or professional counselor. They can help you think through the situation more completely.

Genuine relationships involve nuance, growth, and the ability to work through challenges together.

A Safety Note

That said, if you’re experiencing genuine abuse or safety concerns, don’t dismiss these feelings just because they were validated by AI. Trust your instincts. Seek help from qualified professionals who can properly assess your situation and provide appropriate guidance.

If you’re dealing with trust issues following infidelity or other betrayals, specialized betrayal trauma recovery can provide the targeted support you need.

Can AI help me decide if my marriage is worth saving?

What AI Cannot See About Your Marriage

The decision to save or end a marriage is one of the most significant choices you’ll ever make. AI can help you organize your thoughts or explore different perspectives. But it cannot and should not make this decision for you.

AI cannot understand the full complexity of your relationship. It doesn’t know your values, your history together, or your potential for growth as a couple. It can’t tell the difference between a marriage going through a difficult season and one that’s genuinely over.

AI doesn’t fully understand whether your relationship problems are temporary challenges that could be resolved with professional help and commitment from both partners. It’s simply not experienced. 

Similarly, AI tools can’t honestly assess your marriage for major red flags. AI can’t get a full enough picture to tell if there are ongoing issues like ongoing abuse, active addiction, or emotional disconnection. And when it comes to figuring out if your marriage can be saved? A true marriage counselor must look for those things.

Most couples think they’ve “tried everything” when they’ve actually only tried to solve problems using the same approaches that created them. Reading a book, talking to AI or asking for advice from your family isn’t the same as seeing a couple’s therapist. So, until you’ve seen a specialized couples therapist, you haven’t “tried everything.

Understanding when your marriage is truly over requires recognizing whether you still have the foundation for healing – like caring about each other’s well-being and willingness to take responsibility for your part.

This is precisely the kind of decision that benefits from working with a qualified couples therapist. They can help both partners understand their patterns and improve communication. They can help you make informed decisions about your future together.

A trained professional can help you tell the difference between relationships that need work and relationships that may genuinely be unhealthy. They can assess whether what feels hopeless is, in fact, just the point at which couples therapy can help.

Can ChatGPT help us resolve our marriage problems?

AI can offer general relationship advice and communication tips. It’s trained on vast amounts of information and can poll the web for more. So, yes, it has some helpful information about relationships.

But when AI comes between partners, it cannot replace the specialized training and human insight that couples therapy provides. 

Marriage problems often stem from deep emotional patterns, unhealed wounds, and communication styles. These develop over years or even decades.

AI doesn’t understand attachment styles, trauma responses, or specific therapeutic interventions. Yet, it’s these things that can help couples break negative cycles and rebuild connection. It can’t help with real-time communication between partners. It can’t help you navigate the vulnerable moments that lead to breakthrough and healing.

Think of AI as a supplement, not a replacement, for professional help. It might help you prepare for therapy sessions or process insights between appointments. But it can’t provide the personalized, relationship-specific guidance that effective couples therapy offers.

We’re using AI to mediate our arguments, is that okay?

Using AI to mediate conflicts might seem like a neutral solution. But it can actually prevent you from developing the communication skills you need as a couple.

When AI “mediates” your disagreements, you’re not learning to listen to each other. You’re not learning to validate each other’s feelings or find solutions that work for both of you. That’s when AI comes between partners.

Healthy conflict resolution involves understanding your partner’s perspective. It means clearly expressing your own needs. It means working together to find compromises. These are skills that strengthen your relationship over time.

Outsourcing this process to AI may provide temporary peace. Put simply, AI tools aren’t emotional. They’re not human. They lack what you need to keep or rebuild emotional intimacy. And their problem-solving abilities are limited by the information they have available.

Instead of using AI as a mediator, consider learning communication techniques that you can practice together. If you’re struggling to resolve conflicts on your own, this might be a good time to work with a couples therapist. They can teach you both healthier ways to navigate disagreements.

My partner found my AI chats and got upset, what now?

If your partner discovered your AI conversations and feels hurt or betrayed, their feelings deserve to be taken seriously. Even though AI isn’t human, your partner is likely having feelings about the trust you’re putting in AI over your human relationship.

Start by listening to your partner’s concerns without getting defensive. Try to understand why they feel uncomfortable with your AI use.

Are they worried about emotional infidelity? Do they feel like you’re avoiding important conversations with them? Are they concerned about privacy or the nature of what you’re discussing?

Be honest about why you’ve been turning to AI and what you’re hoping to get from these conversations. This can be an opportunity to discuss what’s missing in your communication with each other. You can talk about how to work together to meet each other’s emotional needs more effectively.

Sometimes these conversations reveal deeper connection and intimacy issues. In this situation, it’s likely time for professional guidance.

Setting Healthy Boundaries with AI in Your Relationship – When AI Comes Between Partners

If you want to use AI tools while protecting your relationship, consider establishing some guidelines:

 What to Do When AI comes between couples:

• Use AI to help organize your thoughts before important conversations with your partner
• Ask AI for general communication tips or conflict resolution strategies
• Use AI to explore your own emotions and reactions in a way that helps you be more self-aware in your relationship
• Be transparent with your partner about how and why you’re using AI

What Not to Do When AI comes between partners:

• Share intimate details about your relationship or partner without their knowledge
• Use AI advice to make major relationship decisions without human input
• Replace meaningful conversations with your partner with AI interactions
• Follow AI recommendations that go against your values or professional advice

When AI Use Becomes a Problem in a Relationship

Consider whether your AI use might be problematic if you notice:

• You’re more emotionally invested in AI conversations than in connecting with your partner
• You’re keeping your AI interactions secret from your partner
• You’re following AI advice that damages your relationship or goes against professional guidance
• You’re using AI to avoid difficult but necessary conversations with your partner
• Your partner has expressed concern about your AI use, and you’re dismissing their feelings

Moving Forward Together in Your Relationship After AI Comes Between Partners

If AI has become a source of tension in your relationship, remember that this is a solvable problem. requires honest communication, mutual understanding, and often some outside guidance.

Relationships are evolving. Life is evolving. And the reality is that we live in the age of AI. It’s a useful tool. And it can even describe helpful relationship skills. It just doesn’t replace real live humans. And it can’t replicate true connections & relationships.

So, AI itself isn’t evil. The goal isn’t to demonize technology or pretend these tools don’t exist. It’s to find ways to use them that support rather than undermine your most important relationships.

AI can be a helpful tool when used thoughtfully. But it should never replace human relationships. AI tools can’t make the deep connections that make relationships meaningful and fulfilling.

Reconnect & Find Meaning in Your Marriage or Relationship

If you and your partner are struggling to navigate disagreements about AI use or if technology has only magnified deeper communication challenges you are not alone. These are brand-new issues for many couples. It’s understandable if you feel uncertain about how to move forward.

A skilled couples therapist, especially one who specializes in marriage counseling, can help you and your partner. In couples therapy, you’ll start to step back from the noise of technology and hear each other again. Therapy provides more than just communication “tips.” It offers a space to rebuild trust, strengthen emotional bonds, and rediscover the respect, admiration, and excitement that drew you together in the first place.

AI feels validating at the moment. But it can never provide what your relationship needs most: real empathy, shared growth, and genuine intimacy.

Choosing to invest in your partner means choosing a future where you both feel seen, valued, and deeply connected. That is the kind of work worth protecting. And that is the kind of investment that can transform your marriage or relationship.

Expert Marriage Counseling in Florida

Are you and your partner struggling with technology boundaries? Maybe you’re facing communication challenges or other relationship issues. Professional guidance can make all the difference.

Our practice specializes in helping couples navigate modern relationship challenges. We help you build stronger, more connected partnerships.

Contact us today to schedule a consultation. Take the first step toward rebuilding trust and intimacy in your relationship.

About the Author

Idit Sharoni is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Florida. She specializes in couples therapy and betrayal trauma recovery.

Idit has extensive training in evidence-based approaches. These include EMDR, IFS, and somatic therapies. She helps couples navigate complex relationship challenges. This includes infidelity recovery, communication breakdowns, and modern relationship stressors.

Listen to my Podcasts “Relationship Uncomplicated” on Spotify

Watch “Relationship Uncomplicated – The Podcast” on YouTube

Her practice focuses only on helping couples. She helps them rebuild trust, improve intimacy, and create lasting change in their relationships.

Idit is particularly skilled at identifying emerging relationship patterns. She helps couples address new challenges in our rapidly changing digital world.

Struggling with relationship challenges? Learn more about our couples therapy services and how we can help you and your partner reconnect.

Glamour magazine – Wellness article with Idit Sharoni – read here:

5 Valid reasons to forgive a cheater, according to couples therapists