When your marriage feels like it’s hanging by a thread, you may wonder if couples therapy can turn things around. Maybe you’ve had the same arguments for months. Or perhaps you feel more like roommates than romantic partners.
The question “Can couples counseling save most marriages?” isn’t only about statistics. You’re honestly trying to understand if it will help YOUR relationship or one you care about. You’re looking for hope, realistic expectation, and to better understand who couples counseling helps. It’s also about hope.
The answer isn’t a simple yes or no. As someone who provides couples therapy and marriage counseling in Miami and throughout Florida, I’ve seen marriages change in ways that once seemed impossible. There isn’t a simple recipe for success. How much couples therapy helps any given relationship depends on many factors.
After years of working with couples, I’ve learned that therapy doesn’t “save” marriages in the way many people imagine. Instead, therapy creates the space and tools for couples to save themselves—if both partners are willing to do the work.
Here, we’ll talk about realistic expectations for what marriage counseling looks like. We’ll discuss why some relationships can more easily be saved than others. And, I’ll address how to tell if your marriage has the foundation it needs to heal.
What percentage of marriages are saved by therapy?
Let’s start with what the research actually tells us about couples therapy success rates. The honest numbers might surprise you.
According to a recent article by The Guardian, modern Gottman Institute methods now have about a 75 percent success rate. This means many couples see a better connection, resolve differences, and experience greater intimacy. Gottman methods are helping couples feel more connected to each other. They’re learning more effective ways to resolve differences. Gottman techniques are shown to help couples feel close to each other.
Even more encouraging, a large-scale meta-analysis published in Family Process gave us more reason to believe in the power of marriage counseling. A meta-analysis looks at many different studies on a topic. It’s trying to get a better idea of the “whole picture.” In other words, they’re not just looking at one group of people and asking if marriage counseling saved the marriage. Instead, they’re looking at lots of different studies that looked at different groups. In other words, it’s a very effective way for us to look for an answer to this question. This meta-analysis found that individuals completing couples therapy are in better shape than 70-80 percent of those who don’t receive treatment. This is a very powerful statistic showing that marriage counseling is very effective for helping improve marriages.
But here’s where I want to challenge how we think about these numbers. What do we mean when we ask whether marriages are “saved” by therapy? Generally, we’re assuming that staying together equals success and divorce equals failure. That’s not always true.
So, what does it really mean to ask, “What is the success rate of couples counseling?”
Sometimes, the most successful outcome of couples therapy is helping two people recognize they’re incompatible. In some situations, that’s a “success.” Even so, a skilled couples therapist can support the couple in creating a healthy separation. Other times, success means learning to coexist peacefully while rebuilding intimacy slowly over time.
The real question isn’t if therapy “saves” a marriage. It’s whether therapy helps couples build a healthier, happier relationship. This is true no matter what that relationship ends up looking like.
Does marriage counseling actually save marriages?
Most people misunderstand couples therapy. It doesn’t “save” a marriage like a superhero swooping in to rescue it.
Therapy works in a different way. It gives couples the tools, guidance, and safe space they need to fix problems together. But the couple has to use those tools.
When couples come to therapy, they’re often stuck in the same harmful patterns. The couple will have the same fights. They misunderstand each other again and again. Or they start to feel hopeless about ever reconnecting.
Therapy helps stop those patterns. It helps couples see what’s really going on—like unmet needs, old hurts, and communication problems that push them apart. Then it gives them a clear plan for building new, healthier ways of relating.
Here’s the key: both people must do the work. They have to look at their own actions, change bad habits, and be open to seeing things differently.
That’s why I tell couples therapy can’t promise you’ll stay married. But it can promise you’ll understand your relationship better and have the tools to make it work—if you both commit to the process.
The couples who “save” their marriage in therapy are the ones where both partners are ready to change, not just tell the other person what to fix.
Can therapy fix a broken relationship?
People use the word “broken” a lot when talking about a struggling relationship. But what does it really mean? And can therapy fix something that feels shattered?
It depends on what kind of “broken” you have.
Some relationships are hurt but still strong at the core. Love is still there, but it’s buried under anger, resentment, and poor communication. The base is solid—it just needs repair. These marriages often do well in therapy because the connection is still alive.
Other relationships have deeper damage. Trust has been broken over and over with no real effort to repair it. One person may have already checked out emotionally and isn’t willing to come back. Or the couple may have very different life goals and refuse to compromise.
Therapy is great at helping couples figure out which type of “broken” they have. We work to see if the problems are surface-level or if they go all the way down to the foundation.
Here’s what makes healing more likely in therapy:
- Both partners still care about each other’s well-being, even if they’re hurt or angry.
- There is still a basic level of respect.
- Both people are willing to own their part in the problems.
- The main issues are habits and communication, not deep value differences.
Rebuilding a strong relationship is harder when:
- One person has emotionally left the relationship.
- There is ongoing betrayal or abuse.
- Active addiction is getting in the way.
- Contempt—the feeling of dislike or disgust—has replaced love.
The good news is that therapy can help you see clearly which situation you’re in. Then, a good couples therapist will help you move forward in a healthy way.
What can couples therapy not fix?
It’s important to be honest about what couples therapy can and cannot do. False hope doesn’t help anyone. I would rather be direct and honest with you about the limits of couples therapy. While therapy can help with many relationship problems, there are times when it’s not the right tool—or when other help must come first.
Some people assume an affair means the relationship must be over. That’s not the case. In fact, our couples therapists help couples rebuild their relationship after an affair every day. However, therapy cannot fix ongoing cheating or betrayal if the person causing the hurt won’t stop. If someone is still having affairs, lying, or hiding things, there’s no basis of trust to rebuild on.
It also can’t save a relationship when one person has completely checked out. If someone has decided they no longer want to be married and refuses to take part in the process, couples therapy won’t work. You have to both be willing to try. Improving a relationship takes effort on both parts. So, each partner needs to have some sort of motivation to work on the relationship.
Active addiction is another barrier. If drugs, alcohol, or other addictions are still in play, real relationship work is almost impossible. In these cases, individual addiction treatment needs to happen before starting couples therapy.
Abuse is another very important limit. Couples therapy is not safe for relationships with ongoing physical, sexual, or severe emotional abuse. Those situations require safety planning and specialized help for the person being harmed.
Lastly, certain personality disorders—especially those with strong narcissistic traits (a pattern of lacking empathy and needing constant praise) or antisocial traits (a pattern of ignoring others’ rights)—can also block progress. If someone won’t take responsibility for their actions or can’t show empathy, the teamwork in couples therapy is difficult.
Knowing these limits isn’t negative—it’s realistic. I’d rather be honest about this upfront. That doesn’t mean it’s not worth talking to a couples therapist. These are simply obstacles that mean a couple is less likely to get the best results from couples therapy right now. Sometimes, the most caring thing therapy can do is help you see when it’s healthier to separate than to keep trying to fix something that can’t be repaired.
Can one person save a marriage?
The short answer is no, one person cannot save a marriage. Marriage is, by definition, a partnership between two people. When only one person is working to improve the relationship, it often leads to exhaustion and resentment.
However, that doesn’t mean individual change is powerless. When one person begins changing their patterns—perhaps through individual therapy—it can sometimes create ripple effects. In some cases, this may inspire their partner to engage differently. But not always. And if you’re working on yourself, it’s important to do so for your own happiness and wellbeing.
What can one person do?
So, what if you want to start by working on your own approach to your relationship? There are absolutely things you can do.
One person can stop participating in destructive patterns. To do this, they can improve their own communication skills. Or they can address their own issues that contribute to relationship problems. They can set healthy boundaries about what they will and won’t accept in the relationship.
Sometimes these individual changes shift the entire dynamic of the marriage. When you stop reacting in predictable ways, your partner has to find new ways to engage with you. When you become healthier and more self-aware, you might attract a different kind of response from your spouse.
But there’s a crucial distinction between taking responsibility for your part in relationship problems and taking responsibility for the entire relationship. The first is healthy and empowering. The second is exhausting and ineffective. If your partner isn’t willing to engage in couples therapy, individual therapy can be valuable. It can help you understand your patterns, develop better boundaries, and make decisions about your relationship from a place of clarity rather than desperation.
Individual therapy can also help you prepare for couples work later. Or, it can support you in making difficult decisions about your marriage’s future.
How to save your marriage when it seems impossible?
It’s not uncommon to feel overwhelmed and hopeless when your marriage is struggling. While it’s a common feeling to have, it leaves you feeling like it’s impossible to save your marriage.
What I’ve observed is that when couples reach out feeling this way, they’re usually stuck in patterns that feel unchangeable. They are overwhelmed by having the same fights. Or similar behaviors, even if the topic itself changes. They’re stuck in a cycle of triggering one another.
This doesn’t mean there is no hope. It means you need expert, specialized, professional support from Relationship Experts. The good news is that even seemingly impossible situations can shift dramatically with the right approach and professional guidance.
The first step is getting expert help. Continuing to try the same approaches that haven’t worked will not get you very far. Many couples spend years using generic relationship advice or trying to fix big issues with basic solutions. It’s like trying to treat a broken bone with a bandage—the good intentions are there, but the intervention doesn’t match the problem.
A true, specialized couples therapist is needed in these situations. Expert couples therapy provides something you can’t get from books, podcasts, or well-meaning friends. Rather, you need an accurate assessment of what’s actually happening in your relationship. Then, the relationship needs a structured plan for addressing the real issues.
The second key to saving a struggling relationship is fixing the patterns underneath the problems, not just the surface issues. Most couples who feel stuck are caught in repeating cycles. One person tries to protect themselves, and the other reacts in a way that makes things worse.
For example, one partner might pull away when they feel criticized. This pulling away makes the other partner chase harder, which then causes even more pulling away. The problem isn’t really the criticism or the distance—it’s the fear of being rejected and the deep need for closeness that both people feel.
The third key is having guided, honest conversations. Many couples avoid these talks because they fear making things worse. But avoiding them keeps the problems in place. In therapy, we create a safe space for the hard conversations that need to happen. We help you know which topics to address, what common traps to avoid, and how to share your feelings in a way your partner can hear.
We’ve seen couples who hadn’t spoken openly in years start sharing their deepest fears and hopes through this process. When both partners feel truly heard and understood, even long-standing problems can begin to change.
The final piece is perhaps the hardest. That is to have patience with the process. Marriages that feel impossible to save didn’t get that way overnight. This also means that true transformation will take time and effort. But it is often more possible than you think. With commitment from both partners and expert guidance, even relationships that seem completely broken can surprise everyone involved.
Can married couples fall back in love?
Absolutely, but probably not in the way most people imagine.
The idea of “falling back in love” sounds lovely. It sounds like the “dream.” And is likely what you are thinking you want. You miss the intense passion and romance of early relationship days.
However, you, your partner, and your life have changed from when you first fell in love. Emotional and physical intimacy can definitely be rebuilt. Yet, mature love looks different from the infatuation that characterizes new relationships.
Many couples we work with discover that they can create something even better than what they had before. They find a love that’s deeper, long-lasting, and based on genuine understanding. It’s not a fantasy or those old butterflies. It’s deep and meaningful, strong and real.
So, when does a relationship have what it takes for the couple to feel in love again?
The key is distinguishing between relationships where love has been buried under resentment and poor patterns versus those where fundamental compatibility has been lost. When couples still have affection for each other underneath the hurt, when they share core values and life goals, when they’re willing to see each other with fresh eyes—these relationships have excellent potential for renewed intimacy.
Rebuilding romantic connections requires several elements. First, couples need to address the resentments and hurts that have created distance. This doesn’t mean forgetting what happened, but rather processing it in a way that allows for forgiveness and fresh starts.
Second, they need to rediscover what they appreciate about each other. Years of conflict can create a negative filter where partners only notice what annoys them about each other. Therapy helps couples remember why they were attracted to each other and find those qualities again.
Third, rebuilding physical and emotional intimacy requires intentional effort. Couples need to create new shared experiences, rebuild their friendship, and gradually increase their emotional and physical vulnerability with each other.
Couples who successfully fall back in love often discover their relationship becomes stronger than ever before. Having weathered significant challenges together and learned to communicate more effectively, they develop a resilience and depth that new relationships don’t possess.
Does couples therapy mean your relationship is over?
Sometimes, when people are thinking about couples therapy, they may wonder if admitting they’re at “that point” means the relationship is already doomed. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Yes, this can cause people to wait so long to seek help that their problems become much more entrenched.
Let me be clear: starting couples therapy is actually a sign of commitment to your relationship, not a precursor to divorce. It means you value your partnership enough to invest time, energy, and resources into improving it. In fact, the earlier you seek help, the better.
Think about it this way—when you notice a concerning symptom in your body, you go to a doctor. You’re not going because you’ve given up on your health, but because you want to address the problem before it becomes more serious. The same logic applies to relationships.
Strong couples understand that healthy relationships require maintenance. Seeking professional guidance is a sign of wisdom, not weakness.
In fact, therapy can strengthen relationships even when a loving couple is not in crisis. Many couples use therapy as a way to deepen their connection, improve their communication skills, or navigate major life transitions like having children or changing careers.
The cultural narrative that needing help means failure is not only wrong, it’s harmful. It prevents couples from getting support when problems are still manageable and forces them to wait until they’re in crisis mode.
We love working with couples who come to therapy not because they’re on the verge of divorce, but because they want to create an even better relationship. These couples often make remarkable progress. They’re approaching therapy from a place of growth rather than desperation.
When you hesitate to seek couples therapy because of what it might mean, reframe the question. Instead of asking “Does needing therapy mean we’re failing?” ask “How can we give our relationship the best possible chance to thrive?”
Start Marriage Counseling in Florida Today
Your marriage deserves the same attention and care you’d give to any other important aspect of your life. Challenges in your relationship deserve the same attention you’d give physical challenges. While not every marriage can or should be saved, many more relationships are recoverable than couples realize when they have the right support and guidance.
Who benefits the most from couples counseling? Those who approach it with openness, honesty, and a genuine willingness to examine their own patterns and make meaningful changes. When both partners commit to the process, you strengthen your relationship more than ever through therapy.
What I’ve learned from working with hundreds of couples is that the question isn’t really whether marriages can be saved by counseling. The question is whether couples are willing to save their marriages with the help of professional guidance. The tools and insights are available. The question is whether you’re ready to use them.
If you’re ready to discover whether your marriage can be saved through professional couples therapy in Florida, we can help. Whether you’re in Miami, Orlando, Tampa, or anywhere else in Florida, our team of relationship specialists is here to help you navigate this crucial decision and create the marriage you both deserve.
Ready to Rebuild Your Love? Discover Healing with Couples Counseling in Miami, FL
Couples counseling in Miami, FL can provide the guidance and tools needed to rebuild connection and navigate tough challenges. If you’re ready to explore whether your marriage can be saved, expert support is available to help you both create lasting change. Reach out to Relationship Experts today to start your journey toward a stronger, healthier relationship. Start with these three simple steps:
- Reserve your free 15-minute consultation or call our office at 305-507-9955 to ask about scheduling.
- Begin chatting with a compassionate couples therapist.
- Start rebuilding your love and healing your marriage!
Additional Services From Relationship Experts in Florida
At Relationship Experts, we understand that every relationship faces unique challenges. Our couples counseling in Miami, FL focuses on helping partners break destructive patterns, rebuild trust, and create healthier communication. Alongside specialized services like Affair Counseling and our tailored Infidelity Recovery Program, we offer both in-person and online therapy options to support your path toward healing and clarity. For deeper insights and practical advice, check out our blog, where we explore topics just like this.
About The Author
Idit Sharoni, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist with over a decade of experience supporting couples throughout Florida in their most challenging relationship moments. She is a true expert in providing high-quality couples therapy and leads a team of relationship specialists who share her innovative approach to marriage counseling.
Idit and her team believe that most relationship problems stem from deeper patterns and unmet needs, not surface-level communication issues. They specialize in affair recovery, relationship repair, and helping couples create lasting transformation through evidence-based methods combined with compassionate, personalized care. What makes their approach unique is their focus on addressing root causes rather than just symptoms, and their willingness to gently challenge conventional thinking about what makes relationships work.
While based in Miami, Idit’s team provides online therapy to couples throughout Florida—from Jacksonville to Fort Lauderdale, Tampa to Orlando—for marriage counseling and couples therapy. They also work with couples nationwide who are specifically seeking their specialized affair recovery program. Their structured, goal-oriented approach has helped hundreds of couples not just survive their most difficult moments, but emerge with stronger, more connected relationships than they thought possible.
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