What do you do when everything shifts after an affair? How do you recover when the bottom falls out of everything you’ve known about your relationship in the aftermath of relationship infidelity? Often post-traumatic stress, as it pertains to the hurt partner, is linked to the unknowns connected to the betrayal. The pain of discovery […]
In the aftermath of infidelity, what does a hurt partner need most? What comes to mind? Most people, unfaithful partners, or even therapists routinely answer the same way: hurt partners need true remorse from the betrayer, to forgive, and to know why among other things. Of course, these are all true and important. Yet, the […]
It is not uncommon to assume that because we’ve been with our partner for so long, we know them too well and they know us too well to guess what we need or want. Likewise, it is not uncommon to get extremely frustrated and annoyed when our partner is not doing or saying what we […]
Are you concerned that you may not be able to heal from infidelity? Is your affair recovery on hold? If you’ve been going through affair recovery for a while now, you may be asking yourself these questions and others. When you find it difficult or even impossible to move past the pain, you start to […]
When we think of healing from an affair, we focus on the betrayal of the faithful partner. We rarely think of the unfaithful partner’s wounded mind. In fact, the unfaithful partner’s ability to recover from the affair is quite routinely ignored. And when it comes to women’s affairs? Well, there’s even less attention paid to healing for unfaithful women.
Are you facing an acute issue in your relationship? Not the occasional arguing. Not the odd bickering. I’m talking about the serious stuff.
Perhaps you’re even considering divorce. Maybe you found out your partner had an affair. Or, possibly, you’ve tired of tolerating a sex-starved marriage. All of these circumstances are very painful, sensitive issues that couples sometimes have to manage.
Are you and your spouse equal partners in your relationship? Or has one of you become more of a parent to the other? Please keep reading.
Have you ever thought about who’s going to heal your pain after infidelity? Are you a hurt partner seeking therapy to get over your pain? Please keep reading.
When things are bad between you and your partner it may feel like you need to pray for divine intervention–a miracle– to make things good again.
Don’t fret! And don’t give up! What you really need is a relationship strategy. A strategy that will help you see your partner and your issues with fresh eyes. A strategy so effective it will feel like a miracle.
I hear too many disappointed couples sharing stories of how they “failed” therapy. Often, they share that they stopped counseling because there was no improvement in their situations.
This article is a must on your essential list of relationship resources. Why? Because when we mess up we whine. We pout. We dole out righteous indignation. Or we verbally punch back much too hard.
Healing. Trust building. Letting go of the past.It’s all part of moving forward after infidelity.If you’ve been hurt by the betrayal of the one you love, this might be one of the most trying times in your life. And the most confusing, if you’ve decided to stay.
You’ve heard it before: “Once a cheater – always a cheater.” Maybe you’ve said it yourself a time or two. Yet now, as you struggle to cope with the aftermath of infidelity in your own relationship, you may be wondering if the saying applies to the person you love.
“I said I was sorry!” Tense and exhausted by the fallout of your unfaithfulness, you repeat your apologies. You’re likely anxious and upset, eager to recover and move on. Yet, the wounds of your partner remain open, the betrayal and all its consequences, remain unaddressed, and forgiveness remains out of reach. Why can’t you get past this? Why doesn’t “I’m sorry” work, no matter how much you say you are?
You know you love your partner. Whether you are at home cuddling on the couch or out for drinks with a couple of old friends, your love doesn’t change. Yet, your partner seems to feel cheated out of time with you when you’re not together. Have they expressed that he or she doesn’t feel like you are showing them enough care and appreciation?
Any relationship that lasts more than a decade deserves special recognition. Yet, with that recognition comes the realization that just because your relationship is firmly established doesn’t mean there aren’t issues, challenges, and problems you want to address. However, many long-term couples like you wonder:
When I think about guilt after betrayal, I realize that it is usually associated with the betraying partner. A simple search online reveals tons of articles about feeling guilty after cheating. However, my work with couples in the healing stages following infidelity actually shows that guilt exists in both partners.
Putting your trust in a complete stranger is not simple and becomes even more challenging if you’re trying to follow the guidance of a list you found online or names someone gave you to call and choose from.
Many couples believe that sexual drought is a phase that will eventually fade away or is simply the nature of a long-term relationship. I will challenge that perception and help you get things going in the right direction!
Are you wondering if your relationship can go back to normal after a pregnancy or first baby? This is not an uncommon question for modern-day couples who experience pregnancy in the early stages of their relationship. You’re exhausted. You’re feeling disconnected.
How well do you and your partner handle money as a couple? Are you aware of how it influences your relationship, and how to keep it from ruining your connection?
Why is it some couples can heal after infidelity while others can’t? In one of my Facebook groups called ‘It’s OK to Stay,’ a member shared her dilemma: “Hi, Idit, …I was cheated on five years ago and stayed with my husband…It’s been five years and I feel the pain worse than ever. I can’t […]
“This is our last chance before a divorce. We either change or we give up on this relationship. We’ve tried it all: talk about it, not talk about it, pray, be nice, be aggressive, you name it, we tried it. Nothing worked.” Sound familiar? Is your relationship resistant to change? Many couples come to me […]
After several visits to your home country with your partner, you notice that every trip becomes so overwhelming to the point you end up rethinking the whole thing. You try to make everyone happy, but instead you and everyone else end up disappointed. What if you could plan a stress-free visit back home? One that […]
How many times have you been told by your partner you should have a date night for just the two of you? You may have heard experts say that date nights are the ultimate solution to enhancing relationships. Maybe you’ve even thought about it yourself many times. Despite this common advice, date nights spent alone will probably […]
Expression of remorse is one of the most important parts of affair recovery. However, many unfaithful partners learn that saying “I’m sorry” just doesn’t do the trick. There’s more to remorse than being sorry. One of the very first things I look for in affair recovery sessions is whether or not there is remorse and […]
Are you having a hard time finding relationship balance in today’s world? You want to be in a happy relationship but between all the emails, text messages, work life, family time, me time, social media etc, nurturing your relationship has been put in the back burner. Biggest Takeaways You Don’t Want to Miss: [list-ul type=”arrow2″][li-row]The […]
If you are in the aftermath of infidelity, you probably feel the need to know the truth and nothing but. The questions is: Will the truth after infidelity actually set you free? The answer to this is not as simple as it may seem. If the truth really does set you free, then how […]
Do you ever feel like your partner is acting superior? Better than you? Smarter? Most likely, it’s because they use contempt as one of their communication styles with you. Not many people know how poisonous contempt is to a relationship. It is actually found to be the number one (!) predictor of divorce. To […]
After discussing trust and what it means to regain it in part 1, we are now ready to start talking about why you should or shouldn’t stay with your unfaithful partner. In part 2 of this episode series, you get the Why Stay Inventory – a list you can go down by to assess your […]
Almost every person who has been through infidelity is exposed to the following myths. You probably heard it from people around you or read it somewhere. No matter where they come from, when you’re in the aftermath of infidelity you want to avoid infidelity myths as much as possible. They have the potential to push […]
Are you looking for signs to get back together with your ex? Or maybe you are just flirting with the idea of rekindling with your ex. Getting back together with your ex is a thought that goes through many people’s minds after a breakup. Whether the breakup was recent or some time has passed, it […]
As if finding out your partner betrayed you isn’t devastating enough, not knowing if you’ll ever trust again only adds oil to the fire within. I Answer this question in two parts. Here is part one of our discussion about trust after betrayal. Biggest Takeaways You Don’t Want to Miss: Wouldn’t it be nice to […]
You planned this talk with your kids for a while. You have them all sit down and you say: “Kids, we’re getting a divorce”. Now what? After the initial shock, a flow of questions comes your way. Why? Is it because of me? Do you still love daddy? Are we going to move? These are […]
In between your relationship issues and life concerns you have kids to raise. And quite honestly, you don’t have time to wait for things to improve because your children need good parenting now. So the answer is YES, good parenting can go with relationship issues. If you’ve been dancing around arguing with your spouse and […]
Are you having a tough time co-parenting with your difficult ex? Or maybe too many personal emotions from the divorce/separation get in the way of you co-parenting effectively with your ex-partner. Co-Parenting with a difficult ex can bring out the worst in you. And if you don’t handle the situation properly, you may find yourself setting […]
Wondering if you should stick with your couples therapist or find someone new? Maybe you have already seen a couple of therapists and none of them felt like the right fit. I was inspired to talk about this topic by one of the couples in my practice who mentioned that they believe I am an […]
Planning a divorce but not sure how to have the Divorce Talk with your kids? Wondering what are some of the Do’s and Dont’s in having this type of conversation? We have some really good tips for you in today’s episode. Telling your children you’re getting a divorce can be extremely nerve wrecking. That’s why […]
Do you feel confused about your relationship? Does something feel off between you and your partner but you cannot figure what the problem is? If this sounds familiar it might be time to self assess your relationship. Biggest Takeaways You Don’t Want to Miss: [list-ul type=”arrow2″][li-row]On today’s episode I’m going to walk you through self […]
Has your partner told you countless times that you are making a big deal out of nothing? Or maybe you hold grudges for way too long. If either situation sounds familiar to you, then you might be guilty of relationship self-sabotage. Biggest Takeaways You Don’t Want to Miss: [list-ul type=”arrow2″][li-row]How to identify if you are […]
Are you trying to forgive and forget after infidelity, but with no success? Have you found moving on to be almost impossible? You’re probably losing hope that you’ll ever be happy with the person who betrayed you. Could it be that you’re doing it all wrong? Hang in there and listen to this episode to […]
Are you tired of always finding yourself suffering in relationships? Is your happiness in the hands of your partner? Maybe you have a constant battle in your head contemplating staying or leaving. If you are not truly happy than why are you choosing to stay? “A known evil is better than an unknown good”; could […]
Does it feel like your relationship is a bit off lately? Maybe things aren’t how they used to be and you’re wondering if your partner checked out from the relationship. This could be your wake up call to start making some needed changes. It may well be the end of the relationship. Whichever it is, […]
Have you recently gone through a breakup, thought you were moving on, but the baggage is still there? Are ready for some real post-breakup healing? If so, this episode is just what the doctor prescribed. Not sure what the difference between moving on and healing your heart really is… Here’s an explanation. Let’s imagine this […]
Do you feel as if you partner gets very defensive when you communicate something is wrong? Does it feel like telling your partner what bothers you only starts a fight and nothing really gets resolved? That can definitely feel like you’re having communication issues. When it comes to having a healthy relationship, communication is key. […]
Do you want to find your life partner already? Have you put yourself back in the dating world to find the one? Well… if you’ve been through a breakup, chances are you’re questioning your ability to attract the right person. You are streaming all the dating avenues out there, in the hopes to find the […]
Do you know how to de-escalate arguments with your partner? Ever feel like you are constantly pushing the “wrong buttons”? Have no idea where the “right buttons” are? If so, I think you might gain something from this plan of action. Although you’ve spent years with your partner, you both still have a hard time […]
Considering staying friends with your ex? Or maybe you’ve been occasionally checking in with your ex. Learn if you should stay friends with your ex and under which circumstances. You want to stay friends with your ex but not sure it’s the right move. It could be that your ex is insisting on keeping you […]
Are you and your partner spending too much time together? Do friends and family tell you they barely see you anymore? Are you guys spending quality time together or just time together? At the beginning of a relationship, you spend a lot of time with each other which makes perfect sense. You want to spend […]
How do you know what to ask your unfaithful partner about the affair? How do you make sure the information you get doesn’t cause more harm than good? Learn what are the right transparency questions that will help you heal your relationship after infidelity. You decided to stay after infidelity and work on relationship building. […]
Have you recently asked yourself, “How did my relationship get to this point?” Is the relationship you are in not the one you signed up for? If so, you were probably ignoring some relationship red flags. Once the butterflies have subsided, and the relationship turns out to be not what you expected, you might ask yourself “How […]
Admitting you need Couples Counseling is one of the bravest things you can do in a relationship. Who wants to conclude they’re not capable of making it work? Not many. But those who do often find themselves confused. Here’s help. Does it feel like something is not right your relationship? Sometimes you might wonder if […]
Do you ever think about the one that got away? If so, you probably wonder why you can’t let go of a past relationship that is no longer in existence. This particular episode was inspired by one of our listeners who wrote to us, asking why she cannot let go of her ex. Our listener has been […]
You’re staying together, but you’re bound to make mistakes trying to move past infidelity.Wondering how to avoid infidelity aftermath mistakes? One of them has a lot to do with rebuilding trust as a first step. Once you’ve decided to stay after infidelity there comes the hardest part – rebuilding trust. One of the most common […]
Have you been dating someone and while everything seemed great, out of nowhere that person stopped communicating with you? If so, chances are you were experiencing Ghosting. If Ghosting is not exactly what you experienced, how about dating someone who hasn’t stopped communicating with you, but keeps canceling plans you had together? Even though their […]
“I don’t know how it happened” “I didn’t plan for this to happen” “We were just good friends” Sound familiar? Yes, I’ve heard them all too. Often, in my office, invariably, one or more of those statements is offered in answer to the question, “Why did you cheat?”
If you’ve recently gone through a breakup, then you may find relief in knowing that you are not the only one feeling the withdrawal effects of the “drug” called love. Believe it or not, the deep pain you experience after a split actually triggers the same part of the brain that is stimulated during drug […]
If you’re in the midst of the aftermath of infidelity you’ve probably asked yourself this question at least once. “Am I crazy to want to stay in this relationship?” Wondering if you should stay makes so much sense when your partner has engaged in infidelity and shattered your trust into a million little pieces. In […]
Have you recently gone through a breakup? Do you feel as though you’re mourning a death? Does it sometimes feel as if death would have been easier to handle than a breakup? If so, then you are not alone. Many people can’t see the light at the end of a tunnel after a breakup or […]
Have you felt like you and your partner are drifting apart? Does it seem like you’re simply out of sync with each other? Do you feel like neither of you is on the same page anymore? Maybe you’re not getting the feeling that you’re a team anymore. I commonly hear from my clients they feel […]
Feels like you’re in a vicious cycle: the more you try – the more your partner withdraws. Sounds familiar? Withdrawn partners often give us the feeling that they just don’t care. Usually, as a result, we become frustrated thinking we can’t get through to our partners. If you’re stuck in this frustrating cycle AKA The […]
Breakups hurt so bad. I know. Initially, you may feel relieved because you just got out of a bad or even toxic connection. But the pain usually hits in the following hours or days when you start regretting almost everything you’ve said and done. You want to heal after a breakup so we decided to […]
You know how fights and arguments end, but do you know how they start? The answer lies in your ability to make each-other feel heard. Let’s see how you can better listen and be heard following 8 simple strategies for better listening skills. “Whose fault is it that we’re fighting so much?” Can’t tell you how […]
One of the hardest things to do is to admit you’re in an unhealthy relationship. Although the toxic relationship warning signs are there in front of you, you might avoid making a decision. We picked the 5 top toxic relationship warning signs so you can see for yourself. I asked my co-host and breakup specialist […]
Have you been wondering if you’re in a relationship worth saving? In this episode, I share along with my co-host Alina Gershonov, the signs your relationship is worth saving. Many couples who experience difficulties in their marriage or relationship report constant arguments that leave them hopeless about the relationship’s potential to improve. Others report a […]
Finally! After months of brainstorming, recording, and perfecting I am proud and excited to share with you the Relationships Uncomplicated Podcast. I host this podcast with breakup specialist and fellow Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Alina Gershonov who is my dear friend and colleague. We share our best ideas, tips and easy-to-implement tools to […]
Don’t you wish there was an easy way to tell what’s your relationship’s grade? And, do you wonder if there would be a difference in how you would grade your relationship and how a professional would? You can stop the guessing and read these easy to implement steps to learn what’s your relationship’s GPA. A […]
“Once a cheater always a cheater”, “You’re crazy to stay in this relationship after he/she cheated on you”, “Your marriage is a big lie. You found out, now leave!” These are only a few examples of what betrayed partners hear when they share their pain with others. Staying after infidelity seems like a big mistake […]
Learn these 4 steps to increase trust in couples’ relationships. Trust grows where there’s just enough space for it to expand into, but not too much space for it to evaporate. Idit Sharoni, LMFT Couples who deal with trust issues are right to assume that it is an essential part of a healthy relationship, however, […]
…I’m gonna love you Like I’m gonna lose you… Know this trendy song by Meghan Trainor & John Legend? I just love it! I love the message in the lyrics because it reminds me of a conversation I had with a Japanese tourist years ago. It was in language school when I was studying to […]
Almost every couple that comes to my office asks to on work effective couples communication skills. We all want to improve communication, and as a systemic therapist, I strongly support it. But what does it mean to work on communication? Does it mean choosing our words more carefully? Does it mean saying more I – statements? […]
A Miami based licensed marriage & family therapist, podcaster, and couples’ educator. My happiest days are spent in my office with couples or behind my computer screen sharing my secrets with the world.
This podcast I just recently found is so awesome for both those in healthy relationships and like me someone who is struggling with a recent heartbreak .
I have replayed all of their episodes while taking notes religiously. If you are in a rocky relationship & cannot make up your mind about staying in it or leaving I HIGHLY recommend you listen to this podcast before making any decisions.
I’m only a few episodes in but I feel like each episode has helped me see and understand my marriage better! I can see where they could be talking about me and when they could be talking about my husband. Thank you for these, I love them!!!
Episode 21 gave me an insight to my own issues and the ones I feel I have in our relationship. I look forward to taking it one issue at a time. It was everything I needed to hear.
I don’t typically feel inspired enough to review a podcast but I really appreciate this one! It’s on point and cuts to the chase. It’s not just a bunch of fluff you could hear on some infomercial! Lol... I highly recommend listening!
Great show and really good content to help make sense of complex feelings.
Wow, what condensed quality, thank you-!
Just found this and found it extremely helpful to gain insight and problem solve